4 steps to minimizing conflict and optimizing your relationships

Look at the picture. What do you see?

❓ An artsy vase or two heads facing each other? Or both?

There is more than one perspective and explanation possible, isn't it?

Today's mini mental fitness practice is training the mental muscle of empathy & ability to acknowledge something good about another person's perspective and, as a result, improve relationships and reduce conflicts.

Imagine that when we communicate with each other at work, online, or at home, it would not be about whose perspective is right or wrong but rather about understanding and respecting different viewpoints and discovering the bigger picture & new solutions.

Wouldn't you want others to respect your perspectives? What if all of us did it for each other?

Ready for the mini-practice?

⏸ Pause today anytime that someone says something that you don't like or disagree with. Or even something that is triggering for you.

😤 Stop yourself before you say something like:, "NO! You are wrong/this is WRONG! You don't get it! AND this is what I see that's the RIGHT way!"

👣 Take a deep breath and see yourself pausing and replying with these four steps in it instead:

1️⃣ Reflect back to them what you heard them say: (helps them to feel heard, understood - helps them relax a bit too): "What I hear you say is this... "

2️⃣ Find at least 10% to appreciate about their perspective: (creates more connection between the two of you instead of deepening the divide) "And what I like about what you said, is.. "

3️⃣ Share your positive intention & common aspiration (resolving the situation, uniting on a common goal, "bigger picture"): "I would like to build on what you said and add my perspective to it, and I would like to hear from you what you think about it and I encourage you to build on what I say as well, so we can resolve it and together find a solution that works."

4️⃣ Ask a question: (you are not forcing them to listen to you - they can say yes or no. Chances are, they will want to hear at this point what you have to say. And if they say no - perhaps reschedule the conversation for another time when emotions calm down and both of you can openly listen.) "Would that work?"

That's it for today! Kudos if you take this mini mental fitnes challenge on!

The change for the better starts with you.

Originally posted on LinkedIn. Share your perspective there! 

To your success, 

Lucie