Change how you listen and change your relationships
“Do I matter? Am I included? Do I have a voice?”
When someone else doesn’t gift us the time to truly listen to what we want to express, and if that happens on a continuous basis, it’s natural for us to start feeling excluded, like we don’t have a voice, as if we and our opinions and perspectives didn’t matter.
When someone does give us the gift of active listening from a kind and curious space (non-judgmental), it meets at least three of our basic human needs – to feel respected, have a sense that we belong, and that we matter and our voice matters.
? Today, I invite all of us to start with ourselves and give the gift of active, compassionate, non-judgmental, and curious listening to ourselves.
? Listen (=become aware of) not only your thoughts but also of your feelings. And be there with even those that are not comfortable and don’t feel so good.
? Instead of pushing away that fear, the anger, the anxiety, the sadness… be there with the inner “voice” that doesn’t use words. And with compassion and curiosity, listen to what kind of message it wants to give you.
? For example, what kind of personal boundary is being crossed when you feel angry? What is something important and valuable to you that seems to be being threatened, and anger is there to protect it? If sad… what are you really sad about? What do you wish were different? What is it that is important to you that is not being fulfilled? What matters to you that this feeling points to? What do you wish someone told you right now would make you feel different?
? Today, take a moment to listen to your inner “voice” with compassion, care, and curiosity.
? Today, give yourself the gift of active listening and know that you matter; you have a voice. And you are respected and valued.
? What for?
? Besides this growing your emotional intelligence (and so having access to the benefits it provides), as we strengthen the listening muscle, not only will we feel more connected, grounded, and clear within ourselves, but we will be able to connect with others better and make space for innovation, easier collaboration, stronger relationships, and better performance.
?Imagine the difference in your personal life & relationships. How could your relationships be different?
?In a work environment, active listening skill promotes #trust, #engagement, and ultimately sustainable #performance.
Isn’t that a worthy goal?
What do you think?