Raise your Standards & Wellbeing

What kind of boundaries/standards do you keep for yourself when it comes to speaking with yourself after you fail at something?

Studies show that when we are self-critical, the survival part of our brain gets activated (detects a level of threat) and sends signals to our body to prepare for fight/flight. Our blood pressure goes up, and adrenaline and the stress hormone cortisol are released.

Imagine the long-term effects of increased levels of cortisol and higher blood pressure on our physical health if we constantly self-criticize ourselves in our own heads. Not even speaking of the impact it has on our emotional and mental health.

But it doesn’t have to be that way! Just like self-criticism manifests in our bodies, so does self-compassion. When we soothe our own pain, we activate the caregiving system in our brains that triggers a release of oxytocin. That helps us calm down, and feel safer and connected.

Compassion is originally based on the Latin “com” (with) and the past-participle stem of the Latin “pati” which means “to endure, suffer. experience”

What if, when we experience failure or rejection, instead of going into the “self-attack” mode that wants to “beat” us into doing better, we learn to be more compassionate (present, “experience with”) with ourselves?

What if, the more we treat ourselves with compassion, not only we can be physically healthier and more energized which actually increases our chances of success next time, but also we can extend the compassion we learn with ourselves to others?

? What are your perhaps unspoken rules (boundaries) for how you treat yourself after a failure?

?Are they supporting your long-term well-being and success?

?What is at least one kind thing that you could say to yourself when you experience distress, sadness, loneliness, or other unpleasant emotion?

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