Conflict is NOT Optional. Feeling Miserable Is.
“We do so many things in our lives because we have to, not because we choose to. Whether taking out the trash, handling a conflict, working with difficult people, or working on the budget, we take action while feeling the pain, the difficulty, the resistance, the reluctance, the avoidance, and the “can’t wait for it to be over” kind of misery. “ – Positive Intelligence
? Do you want to reduce the pain and difficulty of life and work?
As a new CIO, I used to feel miserable and angry listening to my peers’ constant nagging and unjustified complaints about the state of IT initiatives, which is one reason why I avoided interacting with certain people in so many different ways.
One day, during a board meeting, I found myself on the receiving side of complaints, from project delays and failed deliveries to increased IT operative costs. There was no avoiding them this time, which made me angry and unhappy. After feeling the old familiar misery for a while, I decided to try a Jedi Mind Trick from Positive Intelligence®, called a PQ Rep, on the situation.
So, instead of trying to avoid having the conversation, I started to do PQ Reps by focusing on their facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, posture, etc. And while doing PQ Reps, I tried actively to let go of misery-producing thoughts like: “I really don’t like talking to these people! They are aggressive and unfair.”
To my surprise, this changed my experience. I was hearing the words but not feeling miserable and upset. I discovered that my suffering was not produced by my peers but by my own thoughts around the conversation itself. By shifting my attention, I was quieting the survival region of my brain and activating my sage brain where the feeling of calm, clear-headed, laser-focused action lives. I was finally able to engage in the conversation without feeling miserable.
? Today, it’s your turn to choose the action minus the misery.
Try to minimize the misery-producing thoughts of: “I don’t want to do this,” “I wish it finishes soon,” and “Why me?” using PQ Reps before and during the action.
Feel all the sensation of touch as you’re washing the dishes, hear the clicks of the keyboard as you write that report, feel the weight of your body on your seat as you listen to the complaints of your superior, feel the weight of your phone in your hand as you speak to an unhappy customer.
Meanwhile, keep dismissing the thoughts of resistance and avoidance as they come. We don’t always get to choose what life throws at us. Having to deal with them is not optional. But misery is optional.
? In 45 minutes or less, I will show you how to enjoy the most tedious tasks using PQ Reps- bring your challenge & take your solution. Book a free session with me now! (link in the first comment below)
#cio#cto#itleadership#technicalleadership#mindfittery#mentalfitness#resilience#positiveintelligence
